The Erstwhile Grammarian

I was joking about starting a grammar blog, but enough of you responded positively that I thought I'd vent a little. This sentence was contained in an email I got today from one of the gift stores here:

" Have your kid's bring in their wishlist and parent's bring in your camera's for a visit with the big guy! "

First of all, I'm sure that whoever wrote that is sweet and possibly plenty smart too. What's strange about this whole apostrophe misuse thing is that it's recent and it seems to be contagious. It's some sort of plague that's sweeping what's left of the ravaged English language. (Or should that be "Its some sort of plague thats sweeping whats left of the..."?) People are actually catching it from each other. I knew that was possible with common word misspellings, but I guess it applies to this too. In case you've gotten this far and am wondering what I'm talking about, please know that "kids", "parents", and "cameras" are all plural and do not require apostrophes. Plural words never require apostrophes unless they're also possessive. Go on, spread the good news :-)

Mom, thank you for teaching me to ask "why?" before I shove an apostrophe into anything.

I have a wave of angst every time I get mad over grammar or spelling. Why am I such a snob? I usually try to overlook it. I shrug at "it's" and "its" mistakes--that is truly a little confusing. I'm never sure whether to put punctuation inside or outside of quotations. I try to cut editors of online articles (do they exist?) some slack because they're rushing to get it out ahead of the next guy. I know that my own writing is far, far from perfect. But this is getting--may I borrow a misspelled word and some unnecessary quotations here?--"rediculous!"

Let's take comfort in the fact that technical errors aren't the only way to destroy a language. We generally at least get the right idea across. Last night I saw an advertisement off base that brought tears of joy to my eyes:

Encounter the wedding bands of fate.

I'm ready to run for shelter, should these fateful bands ever set me in their sights. A technically perfect sentence getting a completely wrong idea across. Please comment & share other Japan Joy you've spotted. Or brutally call me out on any mistakes, since I've asked for it.